As a child when I heard the term “outgrowing” I always thought it was this joyful part of life you partake in when your reaching new levels and exciting new landmarks were beginning to take place. Little did I know that friendly little term wasn’t always so pleasant.. nor did it feel like such a “joy” ..let me explain.
Outgrowing phase: 1 …Friendships
Bro ..there was literally NO WAY at the age of 15 and shit even 21 you would tell me I would outgrow or no longer share the same bond with certain friends. Like noway. But somewhere down the line life happens…feelings grow weary and what use to be having every thing in common becomes nothing to even talk about. Honestly this threw me for a loop. I just couldn’t fathom how people who meant so much too me ..to be honest? Now meant so little. Sure we’ve had our disagreements and shoot even times when I didn’t think they were deserving of just how great I was (self love sue me) but for there to be nothing? Kind of and still does hurt. How can you spend such an unimaginable amount of time with people and wake up one day and feel like strangers? It was all to hazy. & honestly coming from someone (confession time) who HATES change..this hurt ..like for real hurt. Like breaking up with a boyfriend hurt. (Potentially worse) you and friends grow through so many phases in life. It’s super hard to imagine their not gonna be there for the next many rounds in this thing called life.But isn’t that how God works? I mean there’s seasons for everything so I’m almost positive there’s a season for friendship and people. Sucks I know. BUT on the upside, life as we know it is all about growth. & despite whatever the reason may be for you and your friends demise, you both are understandably growing ..growing in different directions but growing. & that my friends is just fine..
Outgrowing phase: 2 ….career.
Ok allow me to be real for a second ..please just one second. I know you social media babies having been drowning in blogs and post that shows 20 somethings having it all figured out and flourishing in a career they’ve decided upon since second grade ..but if your anything like me..someone who just did the “right” thing..went to college and expected at minimum some respect in the job market..this right here? Is for YOU.
For 1. No MATTER your degree this job market is brutal. Literally only the strong will survive. From high school diploma to Phd we’re ALL out here working to get a little love in the salary and benefits department of life.
For 2. Most of us ..well the most that generally keeps it real or me. (Whatever) Know good and well at some points you 1. Stayed at a job because they actually hired you and didn’t start you at an insulting salary. 2. You wouldn’t even know where to begin to apply for other positions because you STILL don’t know what you’d be willing to do forever. (There I said it. You can be 27 like me & still not know what your willing to retire from) now that that’s over let me encourage you.
My brothers & sisters it is OK to not have it all figured out. It is OK to keep working and trying new things and finding yourselves on different career paths. For 1. I strongly disagree with the notion that you are your career. No..you are the print you leave with this world. I’m pretty sure God’s not gonna ask us if we do well with excel and PowerPoint when it’s our time to depart from this planet. You have the control to be who you want to be and what you want to become. Don’t be lazy..but don’t tear yourself to shreds because your figuring it out. Masterpieces take time and coming from a life in the admissions office where your peer pressured to chose a major and define your life at 18 I’m begging and pleading with you to show yourself a little love. Just having a job is a blessing. Just having one! Don’t let any outside distractions take you away from what you know to be right. Ps. If your trash this post isn’t for you. Put the Hennessy down (temporarily) and get it together. Love you
Also just to share:
I don’t have it all figured out but I have plans and a shopping habit that needs curing.
Still finding myself..still