Outgrowing.. 🌱

As a child when I heard the term “outgrowing” I always thought it was this joyful part of life you partake in when your reaching new levels and exciting new landmarks were beginning to take place. Little did I know that friendly little term wasn’t always so pleasant.. nor did it feel like such a “joy” ..let me explain. 

Outgrowing phase: 1 …Friendships
Bro ..there was literally NO WAY at the age of 15 and shit even 21 you would tell me I would outgrow or no longer share the same bond with certain friends. Like noway. But somewhere down the line life happens…feelings grow weary and what use to be having every thing in common becomes nothing to even talk about. Honestly this through me for a loop. I just couldn’t fathom how people who meant so much too me ..to be honest? Now meant so little. Sure we’ve had our disagreements and shoot even times when I didn’t think there we deserving of just how great I was (self love sue me) but for there to be nothing? Kinda and still does hurt. How can you spend such an unimaginable amount of time with people and wake up one day and feel like strangers? It was all to hazy. & honestly coming from someone (confession time) who HATES change..this hurt ..like for real hurt. Like breaking up with a boyfriend hurt. (Potentially worse) you and friends grow through so many phases in life. It’s super hard to imagine their not gonna be there for the next many rounds in this thing called life.But isn’t that how God works? I mean there’s seasons for everything so I’m almost positive there’s a season for friendship and people. Sucks I know. BUT on the upside life, as we call it is all about growth. & despite whatever the reason may be for you and your friends demise, you both are understandably growing ..growing in different directions but growing. & that my friends is just fine..
Outgrowing phase: 2 ….career.
Ok allow me to be real for a second ..please just one second. I know you social media babies having been drowning in blogs and post that show 20 somethings having it all figured out and flourishing in a career they’ve decided upon since second grade ..but if your anything like me..someone who just did the “right” thing..went to college and expected at minimum some respect in the job market..this right here? Is for YOU. 
For 1. No MATTER your degree this job market is brutal. Literally only the strong will survive. From high school diploma to Phd we ALL out here grinding to get a little love in the salary and benefits department of life. 
For 2. Most of us ..well the most that generally keeps it real or me. (Whatever) Know good and well at some points you 1. Stay at a job because they actually hired you and didn’t start you at a disrespectful 15$ per hour. (No offense whatsoever to those making 15$, you work an honest job and make honest bread) 2. You wouldn’t even know where to begin to apply for other positions because you STILL don’t know what you’d be willing to do forever. (There I said it. You can be 26 like me & still don’t know what your willing to retire from) now that that’s over let me encourage you. 
My brothers & sisters it is OK to not have it all figured out. It is OK to keep grindin and trying new things and find yourselves on different career paths. For 1. I strongly disagree with the notion that you are your career. No..you are the print you leave with this world. I’m pretty sure God’s not gonna ask us if we do well with excel and PowerPoint when it’s our time to depart from this planet. You have the control to be who you want to be and what you want to become. Don’t be lazy..but don’t tear yourself to shreds because your figuring it out. Masterpieces take time and coming from a life in the admissions office where your peer pressured to chose a major and define your life at 18 I’m begging and pleading with you to show yourself a little love. Just having a job is a blessing. Just having one! Don’t let any outside distractions take you away from what you know to be right. Ps. If your trash this post isn’t for you. Put the Henny down (temporarily) and get it together. Love you
Also just to share:
I’m 26.

I don’t have it all figured out but I have plans and a shopping habit that needs curing.

Still finding myself..still

I love me solely because my heart is that great. 

I’m just beginning to accept making new friends.
– Scarlett

Perfect patty.

Ahhhhhh…the sweet battle of perfection. I wish I could say I didn’t know it just so well. I would say my desire for perfection began my junior yr in high school. I decided to ditch my adolescent glasses and become a lipgloss expert and weavologist at the same damn time. I no longer loved my severely damaged permed hair or un hemmed school skirt. It was time to roll with the big dogs. I’d spent so many years feeling behind the scenes because I wasn’t what most deemed the typical beauty. I was large and in charge (not in the good way) lol and lacked the self confidence most 14-18 year olds so desperately need. But in other news when I decided to spring out my shell I somehow divulged myself in a world of beauty, intelligence, and demeanor that had to be perfect or it wasn’t enough. I realized it spiraled out of control at 25 while walking down the aisles of trader joes with a full contour beat. I woke up one day and couldn’t find the sweet 14 yr old I knew I really was and desired so desperately to be. I stopped seeking certain aspirations because I knew I couldn’t be “perfect” at them. Perfection had taken me over! *screams*. So as I slowly erase all the ideas and false expectations I’ve acquired over the years I wonder.. if we all stop setting goals with the idea that everything has to be picture perfect in the ending how much would we accomplish? Or would our dreams totally shift..

– Scarlett

Shoppers unanimous.

*stands up* Hi my name is Mellisa Scarlett and I have an ongoing shopping addiction. *wipes sweat and sits down* now that that’s over let’s discuss the evil the shopping really is lol. I’ve heard of the wildest addictions but I must say between food and shopping I would argue anyone that those may be the toughest. (Ok maybe not compared to drug addiction but you catch my drift) I am head over heels in LOVE with what a new item feels like. I race home after every mall trip and spin in circles in all the new things I’ve bought …then a week later when I realize I have thirty cents in my checkings and my former classmates are diving off of the coast of Guatemala…there’s a thought..that maybe I’ve invested more than I should on this pesky little habit. I’ve always loved clothes especially when I could fit them lol but In recent years due to an increase in salary( praise God) I’ve literally gone off the deep end. I’ve purchased the most ridiculous things for myself and I never know why. I’ve later realized I’ve used shopping as a coping mechanism for anything that occurred in my life so I discovered and took quit well to the life of minimalism and I’m in love.. Minimalism is just what it sounds. Surviving on the basic necessities of life and leaving materialism far in the past. Here’s a list I found via Google on the affects of minimalism and I’ve found them all to be 100% true: 
Minimalism helps..

* Eliminate our discontent

* Reclaim our time

* Live in the moment

* Pursue our passions

* Discover our missions

* Experience real freedom

* Create more, consume less

* Focus on our health

* Grow as individuals

* Contribute beyond ourselves

* Rid ourselves of excess stuff

* Discover purpose in our lives
Moral of the story I’ve become happier with less and gained a new contentment. 🙂 
Ps. I will snatch up a cute shirt in a hot second but growth takes time lol

– Scarlett


God, Jesus, and me. It’s been a battle that I believe has been fought many times before me. The life of a young Christian is beyonddddddd worth it. But with all things worth having comes major sacrifice. Am I drinking too much? Did I represent myself well? Does this fun go against my values? Should I be talking to this guy? The list goes on..but I’m questioning when did we turn being Christian into such a burden. When did it turn from being the VERY best image of Christ you can be to if I slip or make a mistake I’m no longer worthy. If I don’t attend service twice a week I may just not make it to heaven. Totally untrue. Although I was blessed enough to be born into a fairly Christian family. I find myself at now 26 really seeking Jesus for myself…and I must say I’ve stumbled across some confusion, doubt, a lot of peace and an abundance of love I couldn’t explain if I tried. I’ve slowly lost that feeling of “missing out” of the fun typical young adults have. That gnawing feeling has haunted me for years btw. I suffered with feeling like I let God down. Circa 2009 while sitting in my dorm room I wondered how much more fun would this college experience be if I let loose a tad bit. Needless to say God wasn’t having it because my conscience almost ate me alive each time lol. Moral of the story is we’ll never be the perfect Christian but from experience seeking Gods unwavering love will never disappoint… tell him I sent you 😉


Perception vs Reality.

So lately I’ve been questioning the true difference between the two and wondering why perception has become so prevalent in my life. Why has how I’m perceived somehow become such a task. I think from the beginning of time I’ve been programmed to acknowledge and care for what people thought of me.. Family, friends, etc. I’m guessing with the rise of social media those same insecurities have somehow transpired into pictures. I’m wondering how to break those ties but is it too late? Are we as a unit so overcome with the “realities” of others that were afraid we’ll miss a beat? I for one believe the addiction to see the bits and pieces of others lives stems from wondering either how did they get there or how can I get there? How can I possibly get the amount of education and money needed to live this fabulously depicted lifestyle that has been set out oh so eloquently. But I wonder? If we all weren’t able to watch each other’s moves would we move differently? Would the beat of our own drum actually change into something more raw ..more real? Would we gain those old school organic friendships/relationships that last until we’re old and gray? Would we regain our authentic/ non programmed selves?